


Let's Swayze this Mother

by eminwonderland



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Funny, Funny Castiel (Supernatural), Funny Dean Winchester, Funny Gabriel (Supernatural), Hijinks & Shenanigans, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 19:11:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17188721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eminwonderland/pseuds/eminwonderland
Summary: You, Dean, Sam and Cas decide to search for Gabriel, it does NOT go as planned.





	Let's Swayze this Mother

“I can’t believe that he’s been alive the whole time,” Dean says, walking into the bunker library.

You, Sam and Cas are sitting at the far table, books strewn about. He hands you and Sam a fresh beer before sitting down next to you.

“And you really didn’t know?” Dean asks Cas.

“Didn’t know what?”

“That an angel blade can’t kill an arch angel,” Sam supplies.

“No I did not.”

Cas looks between Dean and Sam as they stare him down.

“So Gabriel’s just been alive and keeping to himself?”

“Well, I can’t say I blame him,” you blurt out. The three men turn to you in surprise. “What? Gabe avoided some major drama. He didn’t have to play middle man to Lucifer and Chuck or deal with Amara. I think it was pretty smart.”

“Ok, Y/N’s acceptance of Gabriel’s behavior aside, we need to find him,” Sam says, giving you his signature Sam-face.

“He could definitely help us with the Lucifer, Nephilim, alternate dimension crap,” Dean continues.

“So, how do we find him?” you ask, looking to Cas.

“It will be difficult. Gabriel is a master at staying hidden if he wants-” Cas starts.

Suddenly the four of you are standing in a dining hall. Except Dean who’s sitting at the table nearest you, wearing a light pink dress.

“What the hell?” Dean asks, looking around in surprise.

The stage is filled with people all singing loudly; the scene is disturbingly familiar to you. You look down and you’re wearing a black shirt and black pants.

“Oh god, oh god, oh no.”

“What is it, Y/N?” Sam asks.

“I think Gabriel found us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Does this seem familiar, Sam?”

Sam looks around, taking in the round tables filled with people and the stage where the group of people is still singing.

“Dirty Dancing?”

“Dirty?” Cas looks around confused. “I don’t see any dirt.”

“Not dirty, Cas. Dirty. Shit. How did he find us? What do we do Sam?” you ask, as the three of you move closer to Dean. He’s pulling at the straps of his dress looking increasingly uncomfortable.

“I think you have to play your part.” Sam gestures to Dean. “That’s what we had to do last time, might as well see if it works.”

“Easy for you to say. I love this movie, but when I re-enacted this scene, this is not how I pictured it. I can’t believe I’m the dude in this situation,” you grumble.

“I can’t believe I’m wearing a dress right now,” Dean says.

“I’m going to see if I can find Gabriel,” Cas says, walking away.

You sigh. “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.” You hold out your hand to Dean, he takes it and you pull him up on stage.

“I’ve Had the Time of My Life” starts playing and you and Dean start dancing. Nothing happens and realization hits you. “Dean, we’re gonna have to do the lift.”

“The what?”

“The lift, the big finale at the end. I can’t lift you; you weigh like two hundred pounds.”

Dean scoffs, “I do not, I’m one eighty-five.”

“Really? You think fifteen pounds is gonna make a difference here?”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, sweetheart. You’re wearing the pants here.”

“Fine,” you say, breaking away from him.

You walk to the opposite end of the stage and turn to face Dean. You really don’t want to die being squashed under Dean. Not that you haven’t pictured him on top of you. You have, it’s just you weren’t dying in those instances. You take a steadying breath.

“Here goes nothing,” you mutter to yourself.

Dean’s standing on the other side of the stage, you nod and he runs towards you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mumble, closing your eyes.

“Open your eyes, Y/N.”

You do just in time to see Dean leaping at you. You break his fall more than catch him as you land in a crumpled heap on the floor. The entire room groans and suddenly you’re in a pottery studio.

—-

“Where are we now?” you ask, pushing Dean off of you.

You stand and look over at Sam; his face is beet red and he’s shirtless.

“Sam?! I thought your favorite film was that black and white foreign one you’re always trying to get me to watch?”

“It is…” Sam splutters

“Really? Cause I’m pretty sure Dean’s favorite movie is Roadhouse or something and this,” you gesture around the art studio, “is not Roadhouse. So this must be your favorite.”

“Ghost? Really?” Dean laughs.

“It’s one of my favorite-” Sam stops, realization dawning. His face darkens with anger. “That asshole, he’s putting us in our favorite Swayze movies.”

You look down and thankfully you’re in your own clothes. You scan the room looking for Demi when your eyes settle on Cas. He’d been exceptionally quiet up to this point and now you know why. He’s standing in a sleeveless white shirt.

You burst out laughing. Dean looks over to you confused, then he sees Cas and starts laughing with you. Sam looks over to Cas to see what’s so funny.

“Oh, no. No way.”

“You and Cas gotta play your parts, Sam,” you wheeze with laughter.

“What is my part?” Cas asks.

“Well, you need to sit here and make a clay pot,” you say.

“Very well.” Cas sits at the potter’s wheel.

“And Sam needs to sit behind you and,” you pause trying to catch your breath, “help you.”

Dean claps you on the back as you both double over with laughter.

Sam clenches his jaw and sits behind Cas. Unchained Melody starts playing and your whole body shakes as you try to hold it together. Cas puts some clay on the wheel and starts making the clay pot.

“You need to help him, Sammy,” Dean says, choking back his laughter.

Sam clenches his jaw again before placing his hands over Cas’ hands.

“I don’t understand why you were hesitant, Sam. I find this to be relaxing and quite peaceful.”

“Yeah, it’s not so bad I guess.”

“And your hands are considerably dexterous for their size,” Cas says, just as his fingers brush Sam’s.

“Nope, I can’t,” Sam says, standing. “I’m done, this is rid-”

—-

“-culous.”

Suddenly the four of you are in the middle of a small dance floor in a road house bar. You look over to Dean and sure enough he’s wearing pleated, tapered pants and a short sleeve shirt in need of two more buttons.

“Awesome,” he says, looking down at himself.

“Well at least we knew what we were in for with Dean’s favorite,” you laugh, as a douche in a red polo lunges for you. “I’m actually looking forward to this,” you say, ducking his punch and hitting him square in the jaw.

“Me too.” Dean smirks at you. “Let’s Swayze this motherfucker.”

“You’ve been waiting to say that this whole time, haven’t you?”

Dean grins and dives into the fray.

All four of you fight your way through the swarm of fists and kicks. You punch, kick, and bite anybody that gets close. Finally it’s down to Dean and a guy who’s seen “Kickboxer” one too many times. You, Cas and Sam stand catching your breath and watching the two men fight when the scene changes again.

—-

“Where are we now?”

Knock, knock, knock.

All four of you turn towards the door. Cas moves first.

“Wait! We don’t even know where we are yet. I don’t recognize this movie at all.”

Suddenly music starts playing.

_Bowchickabowwow ___

__“You have got to be kidding me! That porno Cas?!”_ _

__“It’s the only movie I’ve actually seen. Everything else was downloaded by-”_ _

__“Great. This is just great. If Gabe thinks I’m doing the pizza man…” you trail off, thinking. “Wait, maybe that’s it, I do the pizza man and then we get outta here.”_ _

__“Y/N you are not going to “do” the pizza man,” Dean says, making air quotes._ _

__“Yeah, I’d say that’s one of the worst ideas you’ve ever had,” Sam says._ _

__“I make bad decisions when I’m tired.”_ _

__“You’re always tired,” Dean says._ _

__“Exactly.”_ _

__“Well this is an epically bad decision,” Sam chimes in._ _

__“Fine, I won’t sleep with the pizza man. But how are we going to get out of here? We’ve been up for over 24 hours. I’m exhausted and I want to get home.”_ _

__Cas opens the door and in walks Gabriel. You lunge for him, but Sam and Dean each catch an arm holding you back from him._ _

__“Whoa, darlin’. Is that anyway to greet your old pal, Gabe?”_ _

__“Old pal?” you snort. “We were just talking about trying to look for you and you throw us into this?”_ _

__“Oh, c’mon who doesn’t love Swayze and porn?” Gabe wiggles his eyebrows at you._ _

__“Ok, enough,” Dean says, taking a step toward Gabriel. “Time to get us out of here.”_ _

__“And how do I know that you won’t start looking for me again as soon as I do?”_ _

__“We just want to talk,” Sam says, stepping up next to Dean. “We need your help.”_ _

__“I’m not in the helping business. Or did my epic death not make that clear enough?”_ _

__“We need to-” Dean stops, distracted._ _

__You follow his gaze and a porno couple is naked on the bed getting down to business._ _

__“Could we talk somewhere else?”_ _

__“Well, now wait a minute,” Dean starts._ _

__You roll your eyes before giving Gabe a hard look. He snaps his fingers._ _

__“Where are we now?” you ask._ _

__“This is my lair.”_ _

__“Your lair?” Sam asks._ _

__“I’m not calling it a man cave. Lair. It rolls off the tongue.”_ _

__“It really doesn’t,” you say._ _

__“Lair, laaaiiir. This is my laaaiir.”_ _

__“Please stop calling it your lair.”_ _

__“Enough you two!” Dean steps between you and Gabe. “Just let us tell you what’s going on.”_ _

__“I know what’s going on. Luci’s alive, but in an alternate dimension with your mom. And Cas here is adopted daddy to his kid. But I don’t see what any of that has to do with me.”_ _

__“Actually, it has a lot to do with-” Dean stops._ _

__You’re all back in the bunker._ _

__“Son of a bitch!” Dean stalks off down the hall, slamming his door._ _

__“Well that was a complete disaster,” Sam points out._ _

__“I’m going to bed,” you grumble._ _

__“Me too,” Sam says, following you down the hall._ _

__Cas quietly watches as you all go to your separate bedrooms. “I’ll stay here, then.“_ _

__You close your door, pulling your shirt off as you make your way across the room when you hear._ _

___Bowchickabowwow_ ____

____

____

____

____You look over to find Gabe stretched out across your bed and a pizza sitting on the nightstand. He’s leaning against your headboard, fully dressed, with a devilish grin on his face._ _ _ _

____

____

____

____“I changed my mind. I think we might be able to work out an arrangement. If you’re up for it?”_ _ _ _

____

____

____

____You’re just about to answer him when Dean bursts through the door. He looks from you to Gabe and back to you._ _ _ _

____

____

____

____“Dean!” Gabe greets him merrily._ _ _ _

____

____

____

____“Oh, I don’t think so motherf-”_ _ _ _

____

____

____

____Gabe snaps his fingers and disappears. Dean crosses over to you and you’re very aware that you’re only wearing jeans and a bra._ _ _ _

____

____

____

____“Y/N, you weren’t seriously thinking about sleeping with him?”_ _ _ _

____

____

____

____“Of course, not.”_ _ _ _

____

____

____

____“Good,” he says, resting his hands on your hips. “Cause the only bad decisions you make should be with me.”_ _ _ _

____

____

____

____You look up at him, “Well, I am tired.”_ _ _ _

____

____

____


End file.
